Book Reviews--The Good and the Bad

One of the results of free-Kindle days is that more people get copies of my books and along with that more reviews are posted. That's great as long as the books get into the right hands. Some people take a book because it is free and then find it is not the type of book they like. In these cases the reviews are not so great. 

However, most recently, the so-called bad reviews have been simply the readers' honest opinion of the books. Yes, the negative ones hurt. Especially when readers criticize something and I know they are wrong. For example one review for Where Love Once Loved posted on Goodreads said "POV bounced around too much -- sometimes within the same paragraph."

This book was written as a romance where point of view (POV) alternates between the male and the female protagonist, but never in the same scene much less in the same paragraph. I consider myself somewhat an expert when it comes to POV, having studied under Bonnie Hearn Hill. I felt like adding a comment to the review challenging the reviewer to show an example of POV switch in a paragraph  But, I didn't, and I won't. Besides, most readers don't care about POV switch. Just read any John Gresham book. Makes me wonder if the reviewer is a writer.

The same reader said there were too many characters and too many subplots, and criticized the actions of some of the characters. She was even annoyed by the George McCullough character. This particular character spoke for me, the author. He is my age. He has my memories. He has my history. The only difference is that he is black and I'm not. He was also the strong Christian influence in the book. I wonder if that is what annoyed the snot out of the reader.

Many other readers love the characters and marvel at the way I was able to include so many. But, still, I know what the reviewer meant. From a traditional publishing formula romance, the book is a failure. I worked with a publisher before independently publishing and I know what they want. I cut some subplots, but I couldn't cut them all. Perhaps the book would have been better if I had. Or, as the reviewer said, write separate books for each subplot.

I may do that. That is, write separate books. The sequel is more about Karen. I thinking of another book about Liz or Josh and Cindy or Tony. Liz's story is actually continued in The Vengeance Squad and the unfinished sequel I call The Vengeance Squad Goes to England.

I appreciate every review and every comment. Good or Bad.

Here are some of the more recent ones for THE VENGEANCE SQUAD:

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars the vengeance squad, December 19, 2012

By 

Kathy Akers (Harold, Kentucky, US) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: The Vengeance Squad (Kindle Edition)

Very good book. You can almost feel the emotions of this young man. I'm glad it ended like it did. God is always with you!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Great read!, December 20, 2012

By 

cecilia - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: The Vengeance Squad (Kindle Edition)

Captivating and hard to put down, I could see myself thinking like the main character and seeking revenge. The author does a great job developing the characters and putting them together, as different as they are, to do amazing things.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great read!, December 20, 2012

By 

kay - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: The Vengeance Squad (Kindle Edition)

I thoroughly enjoyed this book from beginning to end. I was surprised that it was so good since it isn't a well known book and I haven't found many of those. It kept me reading it all day and all night until I finished it! I could not wait to see what happened from one chapter to the next. I would highly recommend reading this book if you like to be on the edge of your seat!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A good read.    Held my interest all the way to end, December 23, 2012

By 

June Masmar - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: The Vengeance Squad (Kindle Edition)

You need to read this book for  a look at what God can do in your life   and the test of his will

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, December 27, 2012

By 

Christina Granville "thriller fan" (Oregon) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Vengeance Squad (Paperback)

Great book. Well Written. Very believable characters. Shows how one can get mad at God after losing somebody and How God can bring you back. Sid Frost might be a new writer, but he is a great suspense writer. God bless you

Here are some of the more recent ones for WHERE LOVE ONCE LIVED:

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars WHERE LOVE ONCE LIVED, December 20, 2012

By 

Sue - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: Where Love Once Lived (Kindle Edition)

LOVE FULFILLED - WHAT A WONDERFUL ACCOUNT AND THE ENDING WAS SO SWEET. SIDNEY FROST DID A GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE

1.0 out of 5 stars not so good, December 22, 2012

By 

wenshel7 - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: Where Love Once Lived (Kindle Edition)

I am fairly easily entertained, but found this book hard to read, with details coming after the statements - as if an afterthought. The amount of drama sustained by the characters was also brought across not very believably. I like the story concept and the characters, but felt the story was told poorly, as if this was a first attempt by an immature writer.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Purchased on kindle free, December 23, 2012

By 

Tama - See all my reviews

This review is from: Where Love Once Lived (Kindle Edition)

It was pretty good. Tasteful. Held my. Interest would a good book for my granddaughters to read. Liked that it was based on scriptural vales.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Book, December 27, 2012

By 

Christina Granville "thriller fan" (Oregon) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Where Love Once Lived (Paperback)

Shows the bumpy road to going back to your true love. How our secrets can get in the way How our Lord can always be with us even when we are doubting.
God bless you

Fiction vs. Reality in Writing Novels

View from behind the Roaring Fork in northwest Austin.
Note the rocks from the old quarry above the water line.

Is It Imaginary or Real?

In Where Love Once Lived, there is a scene where Brian takes Karen to a fancy restaurant to say goodbye. Up until this point, he has tried to win her back. Now, after discovering his life has been a lie, he decides to move to Germany. He'd rather lose her than have to tell her the truth about his past.

I knew this scene had to be done in a restaurant so that the characters' reactions to each other would be constrained by common courtesy toward the other diners. My writing instructor, Bonnie Hearn Hill, had told us repeatedly that restaurant scenes were to be avoided because they were so overused. To counter the objection I knew I would hear from her I created an imaginary place that was so unusual it made the scene seem more unique.

The Imaginary Quarry Restaurant

Brian's friend Matt had converted a used up rock pit from a blemished, worthless spot on Earth to a verdant garden full of life. With God's help, Brian's life was in the process of changing from a loveless one to a love-filled one. Here is an excerpt of the scene before dinner:

Matt’s Quarry restaurant overlooked a rock pit that he’d turned into a lush garden by adding a thick layer of arable soil followed by a variety of trees, bushes, cacti, and flowers. People came from around the country to see the garden, making it difficult to get reservations for the restaurant, especially when the flowers were in full bloom. Matt had saved them a table with a view, and the special lighting installed in the garden below made it easier to appreciate the garden’s beauty.

Before their meal arrives, Karen threatens to walk out if Brian doesn't talk, so he placates her and decides to wait until after dinner to tell her he is leaving.

When they reached the end of the ramp and were on a flat surface, he took her hand with fingers laced. Her pulse felt synchronized with his as it traveled up his arm. He searched her eyes to see if she felt it, too. She smiled and pulled him closer. They walked silently until they got to the barren area he’d told her about. White jagged rock told the story of what it was like here when workers cut the limestone blocks from the earth. Several huge blocks stood nearby, serving as examples. The rocks smelled musty.

“This is what the whole area looked like when Matt bought it.”

“Quite a contrast,” she said, not letting go of his hand.

Brian looked at her in the light of the garden. She was so lovely.

“Yes. Think of all the dirt Matt hauled in to cover the rock and prepare for new growth. It’s even prettier here in the spring when the flowers bloom.” He wanted to be the one to show her the flowers. “All this used to be outside the city limits. The quarry was closed for years, the land marred like this, until Matt came up with the idea of building the garden and restaurant.”

“Great idea,” she said. “He reclaimed the land here, brought new purpose to it.”

“Yes. He’s modest about it, though. He said he got the idea while visiting Butchart Gardens in Victoria, Canada. I haven’t been there myself, but he said they restored the land there and made it into a garden.”

It was cooler in the garden, so Brian pulled her close. Was it to keep her warm or to feel her warmth? Whatever the reason, it felt natural to hold her close once again. The thirty years they were apart seemed like mere days. He held her tighter, knowing this would be the last time they’d be together.

The Real Quarry Restaurant

The imaginary Quarry Restaurant was based on my memory of living near an abandoned quarry near Highway 183. The area has since been engulfed by the city of Austin. Recently I noticed a restaurant sign nearby that mentioned a view of the quarry. Not long after that, Celeste and I went there to celebrate our wedding anniversary.

It is called the Roaring Fork. I looked it up online and found there are two in Austin, one in San Antonio and one in Scottsdale, Arizona. The ad stresses wood-fired cooking and American cuisine.

The old quarry is now a lake with condos and business offices circling it. There was a high fence at the location of the restaurant blocking the entrance to the trail around the lake and a sign indicating the area was private. Runners and walkers came by, presumably residents of the condos. There was also what looked like a recreational park across from where we looked out. It had a swimming and what appeared to be a boating area. The rock sides rose above the water level as a reminder that it was once a working quarry.

The Food?

The food was exceptional, but so was the price. It was fine for a once a year celebration such as ours, but not a place I would go often.

Transformations

In the last entry, I told you about how Brian decides to wait until he and Karen are in the gardens before telling her he is moving to Germany. Here's an excerpt from Where Love Once Lived that tells what happens next:

When they reached the end of the ramp and were on a flat surface, he took her hand with fingers laced. Her pulse felt synchronized with his as it traveled up his arm. He searched her eyes to see if she felt it, too. She smiled and pulled him closer. They walked silently until they got to the barren area he’d told her about. White jagged rock told the story of what it was like here when workers cut the limestone blocks from the earth. Several huge blocks stood nearby, serving as examples. The rocks smelled musty.

“This is what the whole area looked like when Matt bought it.”

“Quite a contrast,” she said, not letting go of his hand.

Brian looked at her in the light of the garden. She was so lovely.

“Yes. Think of all the dirt Matt hauled in to cover the rock and prepare for new growth. It’s even prettier here in the spring when the flowers bloom.” He wanted to be the one to show her the flowers. “All this used to be outside the city limits. The quarry was closed for years, the land marred like this, until Matt came up with the idea of building the garden and restaurant.”

“Great idea,” she said. “He reclaimed the land here, brought new purpose to it.”

“Yes. He’s modest about it, though. He said he got the idea while visiting Butchart Gardens in Victoria, Canada. I haven’t been there myself, but he said they restored the land there and made it into a garden.”

It was cooler in the garden, so Brian pulled her close. Was it to keep her warm or to feel her warmth? Whatever the reason, it felt natural to hold her close once again. The thirty years they were apart seemed like mere days. He held her tighter, knowing this would be the last time they’d be together.

Of course it wasn't the last time they were together, but Brian didn't know it at that time. He hadn't trusted God yet.

Have you felt God's transformation of your life?

Accidental Symbolism

In Where Love Once Lived, there is a scene where Brian takes Karen to a fancy restaurant to say goodbye. Up until this point, he has tried to win her back. Now, after discovering his life has been a lie, he decides to give up on pursuing her and move to Germany. He'd rather lose her than have to tell her the truth about his past.

I knew this scene had to be done in a restaurant so that the characters reactions to each other would be constrained by common courtesy toward the other diners. My writing instructor, Bonnie Hearn Hill, had told us repeatedly that restaurant scenes were to be avoided because they were so overused. She always put her characters in unusual and interesting places. More about that later. What I did to block the objection I knew I would hear from her was to create an imaginary place that was so far out that it was unlike the usual eating place. In doing so, I think I accidently came up with symbolism for what was happening to Brian.

Brian's friend Matt had converted a used up rock pit from a blemished, worthless spot on Earth to a verdant garden full of life. With God's help, Brian's life was in the process of changing from a loveless one to a love-filled one. Here is an excerpt of the scene before dinner:

Matt’s Quarry restaurant overlooked a rock pit that he’d turned into a lush garden by adding a thick layer of arable soil followed by a variety of trees, bushes, cacti, and flowers. People came from around the country to see the garden, making it difficult to get reservations for the restaurant, especially when the flowers were in full bloom. Matt had saved them a table with a view, and the special lighting installed in the garden below made it easier to appreciate the garden’s beauty.

Before he has a chance to tell her he is leaving the country, Karen threatens to walk out because of the way he is sulking about. Brian convinces her to stay, but decides not to tell her he must leave town until they walk through the garden after dinner. In the next article, I'll tell you what happens in the garden.

Have you ever set out to do something and find you can't? Is it possible God helps us out in these situations more than we might think?

Finding Writing Contests

When I was entering manuscript contests, I had many choices of places to enter since I thought my book was a romance and I was a member of Romance Writers of America which has many local chapters hosting contests. I also entered contests in my home state, my city and several others recommended by friends and my writing instructor, Bonnie Hearn Hill.

Do you know where to find contests? If not, you'll find there are many links to contests by doing an Internet search. However, you must be careful with some of these. The true benefits of entering contests is to get feedback that will help improve your writing. Other benefits are to make contact with publishers and agents. Study how the contest can help you. Some of the contests you find on the Internet are more interested in selling you something. There is often a fee for entering a contest to cover costs, but the cost should be minimal.

You'll be more successful going through organizations you know and the ones who are reputable. I mentioned Romance Writers of America. You may want to also look at American Christian Fiction Writers. ACFW has national and chapter contests, too. Not all the chapters shown below have contests, but most offer support for beginning writers. Most require membership in both national and chapter organizations to reap the benefits, however. Check these chapter websites for more information:

ACFW Great Lakes Chapter: http://greatlakeschapter.blogspot.com/

Indiana Chapter of ACFW: http://hoosierink.blogspot.com/

ACFW Ohio: http://www.acfwohio.com/

His Writers: Heavenly Inspired Story Writers: http://www.hiswriters.acfwcolorado.com/

Mile High Scribes: http://www.milehighscribes.acfwcolorado.com/

WWW Worship Write Witness: http://www.worshipwritewitness.acfwcolorado.com/

ACFW Arkansas: http://acfwarkansas.com/

CenTex Chapter: http://www.centexacfw.com/

DFW Ready Writers: http://dfwreadywriters.blogspot.com/

OKC Christian Fiction Writers: http://okcchristianfictionwriters.blogspot.com/

WIN: Writers of Inspirational Novels: http://www.win-acfw.com/Writers_of_Inspirational_Novels/Welcome.html

Writers On the Storm: http://acfwwritersonthestorm.blogspot.com/

ACFW SF Bay Area Chapter: http://sites.google.com/site/acfwsfbaywriters/

CWOW: Christian Writers of the West: http://christianwritersofthewest.weebly.com/

Find the right contest for your manuscript and you may find just the help you need to get your book published.

Making Dreams Come True – Part 2

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If you haven't read the previous part, you may want to do so first. See:

·         Making Dreams Come True – Part 1

********************************************************
I talked to you in the last post about how I finally felt I could achieve my life-time dream of writing a novel because I wasn't alone. God was with me. That's  when I found out I didn't know how to write a novel.

But I didn't give up.

Instead, I took action to solve the problem. I signed up for online writing classes and started reading how-to books. I took my first writing class in February 2004. All in all, over several years, I took courses on writing fiction, introduction to novels, advanced novel writing, which I repeated four times, and writing novel proposals. For the advanced novel classes, I had a wonderful, encouraging instructor, Bonnie Hearn Hill, who had published a number of novels. At the time she was writing thrillers, which were far from Christian fiction, but she is now publishing books for young adults.

Progress was slow.

I could feel that I was making headway, but I still didn't have much time to write. I was rehearsing three times a week with the opera chorus and teaching two days a week. So, I resigned from opera to give me more time to write. My last performance was The Marriage of Figaro on May 2, 2005. It was my 42nd production with Austin Lyric Opera over a period of fifteen years and I loved the stage work. But, I felt it was time to write this book. My wife at the time was also in the opera chorus and she wasn't ready to give it up. So, I drove with her to each rehearsal and then worked on the book while she practiced with the chorus. It actually helped me to do that. I find I write better away from home because I'm not tempted to do something that needs to be done around the house and I'm not tempted to watch a game on TV. This is jumping ahead in my story, but to emphasize what I mean about writing location, I should tell you my first novel was completed sitting alone in the PX while visiting the kids at Patch Barracks in Stuttgart, Germany.

The bookmobile story wasn't a novel after all.

Before long, I learned from my classes, that the story about the bookmobile librarian I had been carrying around in my head for so long wasn't a novel after all. If anything it was a bunch of fictional episodes, or short stories, all with the same main character. There was no story question and no conflict.

With the help of my writing instructor and fellow students, I changed the bookmobile librarian to a supporting role and added a man and woman in their fifties who had been close to getting married thirty years before the story begins.  Although they had been active in church before the break up, afterwards, Brian drops out of church while Karen, moves closer to God. She becomes a Stephen Minister, and then part-time hospital chaplain while helping students and fellow teachers at her elementary school. This wasn't based on any of my experiences. I don't know where the ideas came from, but before long the characters took on lives of their own.

Next time I'll tell you what happened next.

Deleting Precious Words

Here is the overview from the editorial letter from CreateSpace:

Where Love Once Lived was a very clean manuscript overall. There appeared to be some structural issues with the dialogue, but there were few errors in terms of grammar. I have never read any books in the Mitford series, but found your manuscript to be a heartwarming love story that appeals to both old and young alike. I especially liked the beginning of the manuscript, as it really grabbed the reader’s attention.

The letter goes on to identify problem areas and offer suggestions for changes. I found much of it to be helpful, but I couldn't get my mind off what the copyeditor said about the beginning of the manuscript and how it grabbed the reader's attention. Isn't that what all authors try to do? I remember my first version of Where Love Once Lived and its beginning. With the help of Bonnie, my teacher, and my classmates I finally learned to delete everything I'd written up to where the action begins.

It was hard to cut so many words, but I did. Well, to be honest, I saved them all. I have a Word document I call snippets that is probably as big as the final manuscript. It came in handy recently when the copyeditor suggested another scene would be helpful. Turns out it was a scene I'd cut based on another editor's suggestion. So, I polished it up and inserted it into the manuscript. But, back to the beginning of the manuscript. Here's what I ended up with:

Karen felt loved on Tuesdays.

She was fifty-three and divorced with a college-aged daughter at home who’d probably flee the nest soon, leaving Karen to live alone. She’d missed her chance for happiness. Still, she wasn’t sad. Teaching and her volunteer work as a lay minister, hospital chaplain, and member of her church choir fulfilled her. To be honest, she wanted more. She wanted the special kind of love she felt on Tuesdays.

She glanced at the clock on the wall as the familiar knock sounded. The third graders snapped to attention, turning their heads in unison toward the door. Today was the day. Every Tuesday about this time for the past six weeks, a fresh bouquet of flowers arrived. Karen opened the door and felt a rush of warmth when she realized today would be no exception.

Peeking around the blooms with his usual grin, his black curls poking out from under the well-worn blue cap that sat too far back on his head, the deliveryman thrust the vase toward her.

Does that grab your attention and make you want to read more? I hope so.

Trying to Ignore God's Nudges

The idea for writing a bookmobile story came to me while driving one back in the 1960's. I was a college student at the University of Texas assigned to drive for a feisty librarian who got us into trouble with the head librarian several times because of helping our patrons in ways unrelated to books. I wanted to write a humorous novel about her, but quickly learned I didn't know much about writing.

The writing urge hit me again a few years later, and I started a fictional account of my time in the marines in the 1950's and my true-life experience of driving with a black friend from California to Texas. I had read enough books to know it was an interesting idea and would have made a great novel. But once again, I was reminded I didn't know how to craft a novel. After that I settled for non-fiction writing.

The nudge to write the bookmobile story came again in 2004, and this time I said no because I knew it was too hard. The very next Sunday, my pastor, Dr. Jeanie Stanley, said this: "Trust the Lord God with your dreams and He will help you achieve them." This gave me the idea to turn the whole project over to God. To remind myself I wasn't alone, I wrote a prayer which I printed and taped to the computer monitor.

Dear Lord, be my source of inspiration. Give me the words you want the world to hear. Help me create the story and the characters to convey your message in such a way as to be desirable to the business world of publishers. Guide my hands and stay in my mind and my heart while I write and while I edit. Amen

By then I was smart enough to know I needed help so I started taking online basic fiction writing classes. At the time I was in the Austin Lyric Opera Chorus and rehearsing three times a week for eight or nine months out of the year, and didn't want to take on a large writing project. But, God wouldn't let me use that as an excuse. I retired from the chorus, continued to study and started writing Where Love Once Lived. That's when I met my teacher, Bonnie Hearn Hill. More about her later.

I don't want this to come across as me believing my book is the word of God. Far from it. All I'm trying to say is that I had a strong urge to write and publish Where Love Once Lived. I hope it makes you laugh and cry, and if just one person should happen to move closer to God because of it, then all the effort was worthwhile.

How about you? Have you ever felt compelled to do something so strong you wondered if God was trying to tell you something?